Reflections
by Honour Nature
Summary: (Ch. 2 is now up! BLAKE'S STORY! Please R&R!)An off-shoot of the Maybe Someday universe. Hunter awakens late at night and reflects on all that's happened. This is a look inside his head.
1. Reflections I Hunter

A/N: This is a one shot, in the universe of Maybe Someday. I just got the idea into my head that I should write a reflective piece about Hunter, so here it is! I hope you enjoy it! ^_^ Blessed be, Chero 

Reflections

By Honour Nature

I creep out of bed, careful not to wake Cam, who is sleeping peacefully beside me. It is weird how close we've gotten, when usually I don't trust someone that simply, that easily, but Cam's different. Well, that and being rangers, having to depend on each other for our lives helped the trust issues I have. I _do_ have issues; so many, that I'm not quite sure why Cam puts up with me.

I lean against the wall and look out the window, watching the moon make its track through the night's sky. This is my thinking time, 3 in the morning, and I usually have one of them at least every week. Cam woke up the first time, but now, even if he did awaken, he would pretend to be asleep, for me.

I think about Mom and Dad, and how much they meant to me, still mean to me. I think about Blake, who's the most important person in my life, along with Cam. And Cam. Cam who's sarcastic and smart and everything that I wanted so badly but didn't think I deserved. I think my little bro was right when he said I was "dark and broody". 

I also think about Jake, and what happened with him. The group therapy has definitely been helping, but I'm still uncomfortable with too much touching, even with Cam. We're taking it really slowly. Apparently, I'm downright normal for someone who's an incest vic—survivor. I have to keep remembering that I beat Jake, beat the odds, but sometimes I slip back into the victim mentality. Uh-oh, there's a problem when I start to sound like a psychologist.

I've been seeing one of those too; a counselor who specializes in sexual abuse. So far he's been very helpful too, and he encourages me to keep things steady in my life. That too much stress isn't good for anyone. Too bad he doesn't know that little tidbit about me being a power ranger, because then I think he would change his opinion on what a normal stress level is for me in particular. 

I trace the outline of the circles that were all over the wallpaper of my bedroom. Circles are funny things. They seem to represent a lot in our world. The circle of life, fate, love, time. It seems to go on and on, but the funny thing about it is that it's true. Everything does seem to come around in a circle, and then there are the circles that overlap. Like Jake. Jake, who raped me, raped Tori's friend Jenny, tried to rape Shane. Now he's never going to hurt anyone again, and I can't help but feel loathing for him, a loathing so intense that it sometimes scares me. 

There are times when I pity him, but they are few and far between. Jake's not empty, not at all, but filled with a vicious sort of poison that spills over onto everyone else he knows. Sometimes I wonder, was he ever not that way; not spiteful and cruel, but a normal kid? Somehow I think he was, but something must have happened, and there's the thing with the circle again. My counselor says that most perpetrators of abuse were once victims. Was Jake ever a victim? 

I think he was, to have that much hate in him, because I know how it feels to want to destroy something, _anything, just to make the pain stop, if only for a few minutes. Who was it who hurt the one who hurt Jake who hurt me who hurt Jenny, etcetera? I think that for the rest of my life I'll wonder that. _

Will I ever get over what happened to me? No. I will never get over it, but I will get past it. And every day it'll get a little easier to deal with. I dread when I'll get more memories, but that means I can deal with them, file them away, and forget for a moment. 

I look back at Cam, his face pale, beautiful in the moonlight. He's healed a part of my heart, my soul, that I think no one else could ever reach if they tried. He fills a part of me, as if we were puzzle pieces, just waiting to find our mate. 

I slip silently back over to the bed, and look at him for a moment more, at how peaceful he looks, and I know that I'll have peace, if only for the night, because he's next to me, and as I slip my arm over his waist I realize that that's all that matters.


	2. Reflections II Blake

A/N: Hey all, I'm sorry it's been so long… but here's a little cookie from the Maybe Someday universe. Now, it's Blake's turn to reflect. Thank you all for continuing to believe in me! I will try to step it up and start writing more. Love, Light and Blessed be, Chero

Reflections II

Tori just left my place. It's almost two in the morning, but we just started talking. It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one who can't relate to abuse like what my bro went through.

I head to the fridge, feeling the cool air emanating from the inside. I grab a coke and head for the balcony just off of my room. It's a new moon, a good time to banish the dark things in life. As the moon starts waxing towards full, I'll still try to keep the positive things in my life, like Tori, at the forefront of my mind.

The past still follows me though. The memories and feelings creep into my thoughts and dreams, tainting all that I used to know. I always knew there was evil out there. I just assumed that everyone knew who these vile people were, and that it was obvious. Then, when Hunter told us what happened to him… everything changed. The monsters could be anywhere, everywhere.

It hurts, that he didn't confide in me. He's my brother, the brother of my heart and soul. I know in my head why he didn't think he could tell me, and that he would've kept it inside if Cam hadn't forced his hand. Hunter would have died a little bit every day, using his laid back, enthusiastic attitude as a shield against anyone who would ask themselves if he was okay. He was shielding against me.

I remember all the little signals, telling signs that seem so obvious now, even though they didn't then. There's the nagging guilt that I could have, should have, done something to keep the bad things away from him. He needed my help, and I wasn't there for him.

Of course, I'm not a mind reader. I couldn't have known the turmoil that wracked Hunter inside. That still doesn't stop the guilt of not having been able to do something.

It makes me so angry! I try not to show my rage in front of anyone else. But it was _my **brother**_ who got hurt! Why can't I take away his pain?! I mean, what do I say to him? "Gee Hunter I'm sorry that your foster brother raped you." Yeah, right, like that would do anything particularly useful. It wouldn't help him… or me.

I feel the familiar stinging in my eyes as they fill with tears. One drop sticks to my eyelashes, and then streaks its way down my cheek. Then another, and then another, until I'm silently crying for all the innocence lost. Hunter's, Tori's, Jenny's, Shane's… and mine.

I head to my dresser, where I dropped all my mail. On the very top, there was an envelope with just my name on it. I don't know how I didn't notice it before. It was in Hunter's handwriting, the familiar scrawl with all capital letters.

I opened it, not noticing that I got a papercut in the process. I unfolded the letter with trepidation, uncertain of the content, and whether I wanted to read it or not. But it was from Hunter, so I went on.

**HEY BRO, IT'S ME, IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY GUESSED. **

**IT SEEMS AS IF WE ARE HARDLY TALKING ANYMORE, AND SINCE MY COUNSELOR SAID I SHOULD TALK TO THE PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT ME, I DECIDED TO WRITE YOU THIS LETTER. **

**IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT BLAKE. YOU COULDN'T HAVE STOPPED IT, OR THE WAY IT WAS EATING ME UP. **

**WHAT COUNTS IS THE HERE AND NOW. YOU'RE MY TRUE BROTHER. NO ONE TAKES YOUR PLACE, NOT EVEN ****CAM****. YOU WERE THE FIRST PERSON I EVER LOVED, MORE SO THAN EVEN MOM AND DAD. YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE, THROUGH THE FIGHTS, AND THE NIGHTMARES, BOTH IN DREAMS AND IN THE REAL WORLD, AND YOU STILL ARE. YOU'RE MY ROCK, AND WE'RE GOING TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER. **

**I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT I LOVE YOU, AND THAT YOU CAN TALK TO ME TOO. BOTH OF US FEEL ANGRY, GUILTY, VIOLATED AND LOST. **

**SO DON'T BASH YOUR HEAD IN RACING. I ALWAYS SMOKE YOU, SO YOU'D BETTER GET USED TO IT, SMALL FRY. KEEP YOUR CHIN UP. **

**LOVE,**

**THE BROTHER WHO ALWAYS WINS!!! HA!**

**HUNTER****.**

I feel a weight lifted from my heart. The pit in my stomach is nearly gone. I laughed at his last words, the letter filled with compassion, love, and ever his sense of humor.

I guess we're going to be okay after all. It'll take time, and determination, but suddenly, I'm sure we can do it. Jake might be in jail, but we need to beat his ghost now… and since when do the Thunder Brothers lose?


End file.
